One of my best friends gets married later this year, it’s a special fairy tale ending so I am extremely excited and all things wedding got me a bit nostalgic for my own wedding, nearly six years ago. Watching the home movie the other day I realised quite how different life is now and tried to remember how it felt to be just us. I vividly remember (maybe one of the few things I do vividly remember) many conversations advising us that we needed to take time out during the day as it’s over so quickly and it was sound advice, the day and night felt like about thirty minutes total, not helped by the copious flutes of champagne, I’m sure. Just under a third of our relationship we have had children but they have become a part of the furniture of my brain so quickly, I just can’t imagine what we did with all our time before, felt fully rested I guess?
What would I say to the twenty five year old me standing at the alter, marrying my best friend? Well number one would be, your arms really don’t look fat, here I’ll show you fat arms. A close second would be to live in the moment and stop sweating the small stuff, life is so precious and the third would be reassurance that the best of us is yet to come and I will in fact love this man a whole heap more than I thought possible when I see him with our children.
The truth is though, as much as I long for and enjoy nights where we get to be the two of us again, I just can’t remember how it felt to not know our little boys, not be able to imagine their faces when daydreaming about having babies, as they didn’t exist yet, it seems really crazy. I always imagined having a little girl, doing their curly hair, (how I have no idea as I’ve never managed to do my own well) putting them in pretty dresses with bloomers and big brown eyes. Maybe one day it will happen but if I’m destined to be a mum of boys, bring it on, I don’t think a girl could be prettier than Wilf so maybe it’s fairer this way and there is something super special about three siblings of the same sex. A close friend has three of the most gorgeous boys and it definitely gets me broody for another, maybe I will have a ginger baby to get the full set of hair colour?
A lot can change in six years and it is crazy to see on the home movie how many people have died, created family divides and on a more positive note, become really close extended family members on my husband’s side. Yet as I look at my unlined, well rested face and skinny arms that I thought were fat, I wouldn’t trade places with that twenty five year old, no the best is definitely yet to come.