The Impossible Decision.

The eve of a new normal for us. I’m not sure we as parents have ever had to make such an important decision. It genuinely felt at times like we were damned either way. If we sent the children to school and nursery and they got poorly, it would be our fault for taking the risk. If we kept them off, I was grappling with the idea of my own homeschooling being the driving force of their education, potentially for a very long time to come. I have come to realise I do not have enough patience and fully applaud all teachers who keep their cool, especially after an excellent explanation (even if I do say so myself) that seemed to sink in, only for the child to guess a completely random answer ten minutes later.

I think the answer to the send or keep question is we are all right. The decision we have all made is right for us and whatever happens that will still be the case. The headlines perhaps make you have a wobble every now and again too but I think Dominic Raab (not Cummings, don’t worry!) was right this morning. The scientists are disagreeing and debating the risk, in part because it’s unchartered waters but also because that is what scientists do. It isn’t black and white and this is how we get such massive breakthroughs, looking at the situation with different variables and outcomes. It is just that bit more scary when it involves our children.

I think we should all be very proud of coping in such an unprecedented, scary and at times, extremely stressful situation. It certainly is something we will always remember and hopefully retain the precious memories as the tears and worry fade away in time.

As a mother we have to hold in our emotions sometimes so our children flourish and grow and are not held back by our worries and fears of letting them carve their own path in the world. I guess we just never imagined we would be forced to face these fears with our young children. Scared to send them back into the big bad world to continue the education we so took for granted before March.

So whatever you are doing tomorrow I extend my love. It is an impossible decision that should never have been ours to make in the first place. I will clock watch all day, desperate to hear all about their days though I’d be lying if I wasn’t looking forward to a bit of time to clean the house alone and spend some time sitting in complete silence.

Ah number blocks

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